It's that time of year again! Today I have the honor of being part of the 2023 Holiday Mega Sale for the Mary Cariola Children's Center! Almost all the Nowak Brothers and Dane Monday books are free on Amazon and Cthulhu, Private Investigator is $.99! Go check out my books and all the other awesome authors books!
Like fantasy books? (trick question!) Now is the yearly fantasy book sale for charity, organized by the good folks at Wraithmarked Creative. Follow this link for links to a ton of books either on sale or free! The first three Nowak Brothers books are free, as well as Cthulhu, Private Investigator. Go check it out!
It's time for some Punk Rock! The sixth Nowak Brothers book, PUNK'S UNDEAD, is arriving on December 20th! Preorders are now available on Amazon!
Plus here's the first look at the cover!
Preorder on Amazon
Do you want 400+ books for free or cheap by some excellent authors? Today is the 2021 Holiday Megasale benefitting St Jude's hospital! Beyond my books, many of which are free, plenty more are available! Go check it out!
2021 HOLIDAY MEGASALE
Today I am announcing the sixth Nowak Brothers book, entitled PUNK'S UNDEAD! Look for it later this year!
And for the next few days, get the first Nowak Brothers book, I KILL MONSTERS, for free!
I am proud to be a member of the 2020 Holiday Megasale! Get some great SFF books for great prices! All books either free or $.99 on kindle! There's a good mix between small press and self published authors, so there are some hidden gems to discover!
You can find all the information about it at this wonderful reddit post: https://www.reddit.com/r/Fantasy/comments/kki5gj/more_than_100_authors_over_250_books_free_or_099/
Of my books, you can get free:
I KILL MONSTERS (Nowak Brothers #1)
MANIC MONDAY (Dane Monday #1)
CTHULHU, PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR
There's a ton more there from other great authors! I know because I am also grabbing a bunch of books to read from it too!
For the holiday season, get DANE MONDAY SAVES CHRISTMAS entirely free! Paranormal investigator Dane Monday (of MANIC MONDAY) discovers a strange plot on his way home from a Christmas party involving Santa Robots, explosives, and a rocket powered sleigh! Follow Dane as he teams up with monster hunter Szandor Nowak (of THE NOWAK BROTHERS) to rid the city of New Avalon of this Christmastime threat!
Some books are about their stories. Some books are about their characters. And other books are about the message they're trying to convey, their characters discussing lofty issues or being mouthpieces for particular viewpoints. Though not as frequent as the first two, there are plenty of blatantly philosophical novels around.
None of them have bread dildos and mummy cocks.
(I know, because I've checked)
To say dick jokes abound in Andrew Marc Rowe's Druid Trilogy (The Hammer of The Gods, All Knotted Up: The Price of Fame, and The Flower of Creation: Every Show Needs a Finale) would be an understatement. His books go farther into what might be called raunchy. This isn't some nod-nod-wink-wink humor, firing across the bow of indecency. This is full throated sex positive references to fucking, sex toys, jokes about manhood, lust, and a number of other vulgar topics not even related to sex.
They're also some damn fine philosophical novels.
At the same time as all this unbridled vulgarity and humor is going on, there's some very interesting discussions on life, society, the nature of reality, what it means to want, and what it means to be yourself. Sure, they're in the vehicle of a cross-pantheon conflict of skalds and bards, goblins and faeries, gods vs gods, and Cernunnos waving around his big fat cock. But among their dialog and nestled into the many cases where the fourth wall is broken so bad it might as well be an open window are worthwhile thoughts and perhaps - just perhaps, the thing you need to hear.
We've seen this sort of story before. Whether it's the work of Paul Coehlo, the Bhagavadgita, or the fiction of Robert Anton Wilson, the message is most important. The ending of the story matters less as a great story, but more for the way it shows off the answers to its philosophical questions, for what it makes you think about, and what it might make you feel. The Druid Trilogy could rub shoulders with those other notable entries in this genre, though the others might feel the need to wipe down said shoulders afterward.
The setting for these books is long ago, having a cast of characters both Norse, Celtic, and otherwise. Besides those created directly from Rowe's mind, you'll see such notables as Arthur, Merlin, Loki, Braga, Odin, Brigid, Dagon, and more. But don't think they're anything like how you've seen them before. Rowe's depictions are unique, bawdy, and humanly inhuman - and that's some of the charm. The gods are moving their favored mortals as pawns, but even they realize some of the absurdity of it all as they play out these games.
The Druid Trilogy should be taken as a whole entity. The first book, Hammer of the Gods, doesn't as much conclude as end, needing the reader to continue on to the others. There are also companion books that fill in the gaps, and while not required, the books themselves will highly suggest the reader check them out, to the point of becoming a running joke in the third book, The Flower of Creation. None of those are required for enjoyment, but there will be times where it feels like something significant happened off screen. Many of those times are in companion books, but sometimes it's simply an unwritten event. Rowe's storytelling is more concerned with the characters talking about the results of those events than necessarily what happened. That may disappoint some readers, but that's because the goal and expectations of these are different. Philosophy, not story, is king here.
In the midst of the fourth wall breaking, there are a bunch of references to anachronistic elements of current modern culture. There is an in-story reason, but it's more handwaving than explanation. Some might find that jarring - and if this is the part that jars you rather than much of the raunch, then good on you! - but they often serve as examples that you're taking this all too seriously. If you come out the end of this all quoting, "I came here to laugh, not to feel", then I expect Rowe would be more than pleased.
Who Should Read This?
If you're a fan of Robert Anton Wilson's Illuminatus! Trilogy or his screenplay, Reality Is What You Can Get Away With, then you'd find much to like in the Druid Trilogy. The content itself is more Neil Gaiman or Kevin Hearne, but the way it's used is much like RAW's works. Dry humor, explicit humor, drug use, and lots of talk about the nature of things, or what they could be.
If you're a fan of Coehlo but are more of a participant in modern North American culture - South Park, Simpsons, and humor both edgy and self-referential, then you'd also enjoy this trilogy. You'd feel perhaps more at home in the vehicle for the messages Rowe is trying to convey than perhaps Coehlo's older, non-English cultural depiction.
American Gods written by Robert Anton Wilson by way of South Park.
If you're still with me, you probably ready to check out these books. They are not for everyone, but this trilogy will push all the right buttons for the ideal audience. If you've been curious at any of the above - which I urge you to not take at all as reviewer's hyperbole - check out the books. When I started reading them, I wasn't sure I was going to like them, the humor maybe too fourth wally. But once I really sunk into what Rowe was doing, I really enjoyed the ride, even through the highly disturbing event in the third book. You're not going to read anything like this elsewhere - whether that's a good or a bad thing is for you to find out.
I bought Hammer of the Gods on sale and started reading it without knowing anything about the author. Since then, I've befriended Rowe and after some lengthy discussions on the topic, I have decided that he is one righteous dude.
The Druid Trilogy on Amazon
Need an unsettling horror story for the Halloween holiday? My Victorian Ghost Story, THE LAST GHOST, is free on Kindle through the weekend! In his old house, a man works to put his family's affairs in order, not a living soul for company. The ticking of the clock reveals that there ARE dead souls with him. First a ghost that stands and stares at him. But this ghost is just the beginning. There are more, each ghost new company as the hour approaches for the last ghost to arrive...
The Last Ghost
Lead pipes, machetes, zombies, ghouls, tunnels, gas masks, sour moods, fucked up situations, and a whole lot of profanity!
Are you sick of reading about urban fantasy protagonists with things such as "skill" or "resources" or "training" or even "sense"? Do you like urban fantasy with some horror and more comedy? Do you like punk rock? Do you enjoy the idea of protagonists exploring things that go bump in the night and then bludgeoning said things to death?
Your punk rock urban fantasy adventure is here!
Mikkel and Szandor kill monsters.
So what if they're making it up as they're going along? How much do you need to know to bash in a zombie's head with a lead pipe or slice a ghoul with an internet-bought katana?
They may in fact have no clue what they're doing.
But if you need someone to go down into the sewers to clear out some monsters, figure out why everyone in your neighborhood is getting bitten, or if you swear you really saw a zombie and you don't know who to call, then call them. They'll show up in their van of makeshift weapons, gear, and cleaning supplies to investigate your problem. They may be twenty-somethings with their own issues, but when it comes to monsters they know what they're doing.
They probably have no clue what they're doing.
That has never stopped them before.
This weekend the third Nowak Brothers book, SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL MONSTER HUNTER, is free!
All the books are available on Kindle Unlimited!
Listen to the soundtrack/mix tapes!